Mad dogs and Australians

So you found a hard won friend
To hold your hand and hold your head
A new renaissance to defend
Hold on to dreams tonight
                     'Renaissance Man'  Midnight Oil

Today I have smashed an hour and a half walk!! Well not so much smashed it as slapped it around with tired but relentless fists of fury. But I walked an hour and a half and in 'searing heat' apparently.  I don't wish to titter at the peoples of my new country of residence but the British always amuse me when the temperature somehow manages to get over twenty degrees. I can't help it, I'm a child of the subtropics.  Hot to me is summer in my hometown, where it's over 30 degrees and 95% humidity for weeks on end. That said, it was absolutely delightful to be out in the actual sun and warm from something other than thermal underwear and household appliances.  Ahhhh, bliss.

What's different today from yesterday, when whiny was my middle name instead of Joyce?  I'm still tired and sore, but the sooky-la-la attitude is gone again for the moment and for that I am bloody grateful.  In the end, if you can't change it, don't sook about it. There is no point. I could sit here and bitch and whinge all day about ME and permanent ankle injuries and the general unfairness of life. Doesn't take any of those things away, does it?  What it does take is what valuable energy I have left along with my motivation and frankly I can't afford to lose either. I've got too much to do and life's too short and precious to sit around in a heap wailing about things you can't change. Note: this does not mean I'll never bitch and whinge again, but hopefully less and less time will get wasted on it.  That's the goal anyway. Feel free to remind me the next time I bitch and whinge.

After my big sook of yesterday I decided less whining and more action was required and I went for a walk.  It's a small thing, but it was a statement of intent.  If I'm going to be tired and sore, then I may as well be tired and sore having done something constructive, right? Right.  It can sometimes be a delicate balancing act with ME and occasionally I have pushed myself too hard and paid the price for it. I would, however, rather have that happen than never push myself and spend my life wrapped in cotton wool, doing nothing and going nowhere.  Again, life's too short.

The kindest man in the world, who is losing his sight to retinopathy, has the same attitude these days with his eyes. If he spends too much time focusing or in bright light, he winds up with severe headaches and visual disturbances and by severe I mean laid up in darkened rooms with a blockout eyemask on. But again, what's the alternative? Nurse his eyes and not read about or see the amazing stuff in the world? We snorkelled the Great Barrier Reef last year.  He had bad eye pain out of it, but now he also has a lifetime of awesome memories.  Some things are worth the pain of pursuing.

I just need to keep telling myself if I keep working and pushing and trying to grow, eventually I'll be the person I want to be, no matter how freakin' tired and sore I get along the way. Somehow, through all the years of letting myself and other people crush the belief out of me, I still think it's possible.  There's a reason for that.  The pain won't go to waste. I don't know if I really believe in destiny but I do believe in hope and what is possible to achieve if you can last the distance. I've come this far. No point wading through this much shit to give up and miss out on what could be because I'd rather have a sook.

So...healthy eating continues, walking continues, self hypno continues, the renaissance continues. Sandy is evolving.  Watch this space.